Anger is an Issue

March 16, 2018 - 9:09am

Anger is a normal emotion that everyone has, just that some have it stronger than others.

It takes over all other emotions and confuses your right way of thinking; the what’s right and what’s wrong part of your thoughts. It makes people say or do things that they wish they had not. It changes your behavior towards others which they do not deserve, even loved ones. It distracts you from all good things, all good people and most of all yourself.

Anger sometimes builds without even being aware because he/she is in a state of confusion and distraction that is caused by anger. Soon we lose sight of everything around us causing us to lose relationships, friendships, trust and sometimes emotion, draining us mentally and physically causing us to go into a depressive state, sometimes leading to suicide and this all begins with one issue…anger.

Rudy Bird

As Rudy has expressed, anger is a normal emotion that we all experience, but left unchecked it can have very negative consequences.   It is helpful to understand that anger is a secondary emotion that is often the result of fear or sadness.  At Bridges we focus on eight Anger Management techniques developed by Century Anger Management to keep this potentially volatile emotion under control.   

  • Deal with your stress as it is a trigger for anger.  Make appropriate lifestyle changes to eliminate unnecessary stress.  Stress guards such as breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, and meditation/prayer are helpful to protect against or relieve the physical symptoms of stress.
  • Develop empathy so that you can communicate better with others.  To see with their eyes, hear with their ears, and feel with their heart will help in understanding them, and change the way you respond.
  • Respond instead of react to difficult situations.  Recognize what commonly triggers your anger and try responding differently then you normally do in that situation.  We do have a choice of how will behave.   Focus on problem-solving instead of who’s to blame.
  • Change that conversation with yourself so that it is positive.  Our thoughts determine our emotions which determine our behavior.  If you are thinking negatively about a person or situation, your emotions will turn to anger, and your behavior will likely be aggressive.
  • Communicate assertively in a way where both you and the other person feel respected.  Avoid being passive like a doormat or aggressive like a bully.  Remember that 80% of what people understand us to say is through our body language.
  • Adjust those expectations that you have of others.  Reflect on what is reasonable to expect from people while considering their limitations.  Remember people can only function at the level where their needs are being met.
  • Forgive, but don’t forget.  Allowing a grudge or grievance story to roll over and over again through your mind consumes you and steals your joy.  Letting go of the offense protects you from bitterness.  A sign that you have forgiven someone is that you can think of them without feeling the pain and resentment anymore. 
  • Retreat and think things over when things are getting out of control.  When anger causes our heart rate to exceed 100 beats per minute, our emotional brain is flooded, and we can no longer be reasonable.  Calming yourself and keeping your thoughts positive are important on a timeout so that you can return to problem-solve the issue within 20-60 minutes. 

Using these eight Anger Management techniques will keep those angry emotions in check.  Try them out for yourself!

Rachelle Gitzel

Living a Happy Life
By Catholic Family Services
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