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Strong Stanley Mission community helps families impacted by suicides

Oct 20, 2016 | 6:29 AM

“I was in shock and disbelief.”

Already grieving from the tragic loss of her niece to suicide on Thursday, Oct. 6 in Stanley Mission, Sally Ratt received one of the worst calls a mother can receive. While out at a trap line, she got the call saying her 12-year-old daughter Ariana Roberts had taken her own life the next day.

Ratt said she doesn’t remember much of what happened next as she returned home from a trap line.

“When I got here it was even more devastating than anything I’ve ever gone through in my life,” she said.

Roberts was the second of three girls to take her own life in the area in recent weeks, in what band officials are calling a crisis. Both she and her cousin were from Stanley Mission, while the third victim lived in La Ronge.

Ratt said counselling with the many therapists now in Stanley Mission has helped her in her darkest days, but the empathetic and supportive community is even more comforting.

“It makes me feel that I’m not so alone to know I have people out there willing to help,” she said. “But it’s hard living without my daughter.”

She said everyone in the community has offered help and condolences, and she herself reached out to the other grieving families with her support.

“It was something I felt I needed to do. She wouldn’t want me to stop living,” she said.

Ratt said her daughter was a bright spark in the community, a “happy-go-lucky girl” who made friends everywhere she went.

“Everybody loved her. She liked to help people. She always tried to make sure everybody else was okay before herself,” she said.

According to Ratt, it was a long and difficult journey to her daughter’s happy spirits before the incident.

When she was younger, Roberts witnessed a murder and was in counselling for much of her life.

“She looked distressed a lot of the time, her stares would be blank and she would have these episodes where she would just stare in one place and not see or hear anything that was going on around her,” Ratt said.

However, counselling helped Roberts deal with her grief and stop blaming herself for the horrible incident she’d witnessed as a child.

In the spring, Ratt said her daughter struggled again and attempted self-harm, but was back on a path towards a long and healthy life.

After numerous discussions in the community, Ratt said no specific cause for Roberts’ death was determined. She said bullying may have been a factor since Roberts was bullied online on Facebook, like many in the area.

She said the amount of bullying she sees and hears of shocks her and she doesn’t know why children would be so vicious towards one another.

“I guess parents these days don’t explain to their kids what bullying can do. They need to teach them more about the value of life, not the materials of life,” she said.

She urged her daughter to stay away from Facebook, but said “there’s only so much a parent can keep away from their child.”

When she returned from the trap line the day her daughter died, the original plan was for the two of them to spend the day together clothes shopping and getting similar haircuts.

To honour her daughter, Ratt now has a similar haircut to Roberts.

As Ratt and other Stanley Mission residents move forward, Ratt said more mental health resources need to be embedded in northern communities to stave off further tragedies.

A $17 million mental health and wellness centre is planned for La Ronge and will be pitched to Ottawa once a business plan is created.

Numerous therapists and mental health workers are now in both Stanley Mission and La Ronge, conducting individual and group support sessions to help the community.

David Watts, executive director of clinical services with Mamawetan Churchill River Health Region (which includes La Ronge and Stanley Mission), said the community response is extremely supportive in the wake of the tragic deaths.

“The community has hugely come together,” Watts said. “It’s not just our resources, it’s everyone.”

“I’m quite proud of many of the community resources [who] have really stepped up and are just putting everything they’ve got into trying to support the youth in our community,” he said.

According to Watts, many parents in the area remain nervous for the safety of their children, but the community’s response is one of overwhelming mutual support.

He said emergency supports remain in place, and the health region is working closely with schools and the province to coordinate response efforts. Should the need arise, Watts said more supports from the province can be called in to assist.

“Everybody wants to help,” he said. “There’s a sense of pulling together.”

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or is in crisis, contact the 24-hour Prince Albert Mobile Crisis unit at (306) 764-1011. To search for a similar unit in your area, click here.

 

-with files from Taylor MacPherson

ssterritt@panow.com

On Twitter: @spencer_sterrit