Living With ADHD – Parenting
Parenting a child with ADHD often causes one to question their knowledge, skills and abilities as a parent.
Nothing you do seems to work consistently. All the advice that comes from others makes the parent feel inadequate. Parents of children with ADHD often begin to isolate from friends, relatives and their own social activities. It often seems that the ADHD child is running the entire household and all decisions seem to focus on the needs of that one child.
In reality, the problem is not the child. Instead, it is the ADHD and, as parents, we have to separate the behaviors and symptoms from the child. The parents and the child have to begin to learn about the ADHD and develop skills and strategies to lessen the influences of ADHD on their lives and also learn to advocate on behalf of the child and the family. And we haven’t mentioned the effect one child’s ADHD can have on siblings who don’t share the symptoms!
There are a great many skills and strategies that can be learned and applied to the ADHD family. The first step is finding those things that work for your family. Then teach and learn the activity over a period of time. Keep in mind that it takes approximately 21 days to learn and master a new skill so patience and persistence are a major requirement. The primary strategy involves developing specific communications skills and strategies with that child. Making and holding direct eye contact, keeping one’s voice quiet, short, clear, concrete statements and having the child confirm their understanding of the message is critical. A focus on one message at a time is also very important.