Will Chris Jones Blow up the Elks Planet of the Apes Style?

It would also describe the accurate to use that line to describe the frustration of the remaining Elk fans towards the seemingly futile gestures by Jones to recreate the magic that won him a Grey Cup the last time he was in town.

For old time Elk fans who remember the glory of the pre-salary cap years, it must be a humbling experience to see the defensive genius Jones absolutely fumble his handling of the offense and quarterbacks. It’s a scenario Rider fans remember well when Jones had Kevin Glenn, Brandon Bridge and Vernon Adams Jr. at quarterback and somehow managed to: A) Squander; B) Neglect or C) Destroy their confidence.

The Elk played Ottawa and Ottawa was starting their third string quarterback. I guess it didn’t really matter who Jones started since he would shuffle quarterbacks in and out in a stubborn example of trying to prove his defensive philosophy would work on offenses.

Ottawa has a fairly good defense that went through Edmonton’s offensive line as if they were somehow transported through time from Saskatchewan. Jarrett Doege, younger brother of former Rider back up QB Seth Doege, was being beaten like a gong and apparently Taylor will be starting against the Riders.

Right after the loss to Ottawa, and I suspect probably even during the game, people were thinking about how getting rid of Jones would affect the football operations cap the CFL put on teams in one of their joke moves. It turns out instead of one four year contract, Jones has four one year contracts which means if he gets let go this weekend, the Elk would only have to pay him out for this year.

The problem is Jones is the defensive coordinator and GM and while many have thought Geroy Simon would step up to the GM spot if he had to, kind of like Jeremy O’Day, filling the head coach and defensive coordinator spots from a coaching roster full of Jones buddies is easier said than done.

Making a change for the sake of a change might work to bring back a dozen or so fans, but the Elk who have done a not bad job of marketing, are hampered by the lack of a vision of what kind of team they want on the field.

Jones has managed to put together an OK defense, although if you compare their run defense this year to last, you can begin to get an idea of how the Riders will beat the Elk on Thursday night.

Taylor is a mobile quarterback with a good arm, but with Eugene Lewis out for the season (I know it says six game injury list, but I think Edmonton is going to do better going for cheaper and younger receivers) the Elk are going to have to rely on their running game, but with their offensive line looking like traffic pylons, it will take a running back like Barry Sanders to make something out of that offense.

You really couldn’t blame the Elks for trying to roll the big dice big time on Jones, and he could still deliver if given time. The problem is the Elk board of directors are looking at the tumbleweed blowing through Commonwealth Stadium and the Elk lost money compared to the other publicly owned teams in Winnipeg and Saskatchewan who both posted profits.

Although Ottawa won, they lost their winning quarterback to an ACL injury, just in time for Jeremiah Masoli to return against his old team in Hamilton. Ottawa is not blessed with a defensive genius like Jones and their roster is not deep, but they play more cohesively than the Elk do.

The other good thing about the Ottawa win is that it blocked Calgary from a crossover spot. Apparently the CFL’s unbalanced schedule is designed to help three eastern teams make the playoffs instead of two and a western crossover.

Whether Masoli is fully recovered or not from his leg injury is something we will find out, but Ottawa has gone a long way to try to give him as much time as possible to be fully recovered and hopefully spark the Redblacks since Nick Arbuckle has now tumbled to third string and will likely fade out of the picture by the end of this season.

The Stony Mountain Penitentiary Bombers went to Montreal, survived the gentleman’s clubs of Rue du St. Catherines, and a two-hour rain delay, to beat Montreal 17-3. It was deja-vu all over again for Cody Fajardo who probably still hears the clanging of a football hitting the crossbar in his head and being chased like a squirrel by the Bombers defensive line who wanted to show their non-appearance against BC was likely due to over-indulging in some pregame perogy special in the Stony Mountain prisoner commissary at Incestuous Field.

The Bombers know how Fajardo operates and Montreal had neither the line nor the weapons to hold off a more physical team. If Stony Mountain is going to be beaten, it will be by a faster, more physical team, but that team was not Montreal.

Which was a shame because a competitive game would have demonstrated that Als head coach Jason Maas has a vision for Montreal. He still might, and the score was flattering to Montreal, but you wonder if Fajardo has peaked in Montreal and will be crushed trying to circle out of a potential sack to his right and getting hammered by a defensive lineman.

For Stony Mountain, the win helped wash the taste of their spanking at the hands of the BC Lions, who went into Toronto with so much momentum and came out looking like the not quite ready for prime-time players in a 45-24 loss.

Adams threw six interceptions in a gesture that reassured those who had questions about his consistency. When he is good, he is very good, but great quarterbacks are consistent, just ask Ricky Ray.

It is unrealistic to expect a team to go 18-0, especially in the CFL and quite frankly, I still look at Edmonton’s 1989 16-2 record which died in the western final at the hands of the plucky rebels from Saskatchewan, or New England which saw their undefeated season blow up on the helmet of David Tyree and an incredible catch and a game plan the New York Giants used to beat Buffalo when Buffalo was the offensive team de jour with ball control and run baby run, and I think that I would rather win the last game of the season than lose it.

The revelation to me was the play of the Toronto defense which swarmed Adams like the Stony Mountain Bombers in the prison shower room at Incestuous Field. After beating Winnipeg in Winnipeg, one thought the Lions offensive line was rehabbed from their Swiss cheese days, but that assessment may be premature.

It was a complete offensive, defensive and special teams effort from Toronto who with the win established themselves as the leading Grey Cup contender and won’t Hamilton hate to be hosting Toronto fans for the Grey Cup?

So, this week Edmonton goes to Riderville and both teams are battling injuries along the offensive line. Edmonton signed Brett Boyko, former Rider, BC Lion and aspiring NFL guy, to replace the injured Josiah St. John, former number one overall CFL draft pick who never really panned out after his training camp hold out when the Riders drafted him.

This is a game Edmonton can win, because I suspect Chris Jones realizes if he doesn’t show results soon, he will spend the rest of his professional life as a defensive coordinator at best and more likely some kind of consultant.

I don’t know if anyone on Edmonton’s offense will be sad to see Jones go, but they will be tired of losing and they have a defense that can put pressure on the Riders jury rigged offensive line.

One interesting change may be Brent Lauther may not dress for the game. Lauther has been somewhat inconsistent and may be injured, I suspect not having developed timing with his new holder may be the problem, but when you are paid to make kicks, make them or go work at Walmart as a greeter.

From the two practices I attended this week, I kind of hope the Riders demonstrate the creativity they showed in the practices in the game. Teams like Edmonton tend to pull out all the stops to try to stop circling down the drain and if the Riders don’t match the Elks desperation, they will lose this game.

But then I looked at the Elks offensive line and my heart filled with gratitude. The Riders will play up or down to the level of their opponents, and they will have to play somewhat up to the level of the Elks desperation to further bury the Elk and stake their claim on at least third place in the west.

For that reason, acknowledging Edmonton will pull out whatever tricks they have to turn their season around or else their next home game will be played in front of toothless hobos and Daniella Smith aides, I think the Riders should escape with a 26-20 win.

Speaking of toothless Hobos, Calgary goes to Stony Mountain and Incestuous Field to face the Bombers. Calgary is coming off a bye week and added former star wide receiver Marken Michel who returns after four years of trying to land an NFL job.

I thought Calgary would be better than they are, and realistically, if their receivers could catch, or Jake Maier learn to play disciplined, the Stamps would have beaten the Riders.

But the fact is Calgary is on the cusp of being a 500 team. They have a receiving corps that is better suited to deliver meals on wheels than catching footballs, and Maier should get used to being a delivery driver for door dash based on the Stamps multi-striped jersey.

Stony Mountain beat Montreal to get the taste of losing to BC out of their mouths, but apparently that is not asking for much. The Bombers don’t want to lose two home games in a row, and as much as Calgary wants to climb back into contention in the west, they have no offense to really speak of, and no quarterback capable of filling their heads with dreams like Bo Levi used to.

It will be a competitive game, especially if the Riders win because Calgary cannot afford to fall behind in the west because the unbalanced scheduled is designed to allow eastern teams to beat up on each other to avoid having a western crossover.

On paper Calgary will be as desperate as Edmonton, especially if Edmonton wins because that also puts pressure on the Stamps. Calgary cannot afford to fall out of contention in the first third of the season, especially in games against western opponents.

Desperation does not always pay off in wins. Calgary, if they get some players back and be patient, will be a team to watch in the next year or so. I suspect this year is sliding out of reach for them as Winnipeg wins 25-22.

Ottawa goes to Hamilton, and one has to wonder, is Hamilton doomed to be the Charlie Brown of the CFL, confident each year will be their year until Lucy, or the Toronto Argonauts, or Stony Mountain Blue Bombers, pulls the football away from them just as they approach for the game winning field goal.

As previously noted, Masoli suits up for Ottawa, which gives them a kind of advantage over the Neutered Cats, who have nothing but a Wiccan priestess sacrificing a goat to appease the Dark Forces that call Hamilton home.

Hamilton overpaid for a bunch of free agents, starting with Bo Levi Mitchell, and will be laying a bigger egg than what the Riders did last year when they tried to make it to the Grey Cup. Considering Hamilton got two Grey Cups in three years, their only hope to make money is if the Riders make it to the Grey Cup against the Argos.

Ottawa with a win has got more of a reason to hope to make the Grey Cup than Hamilton and Ottawa has got to be thinking if they can at least knock off the bottom feeders, that maybe enough to take third place and prevent a western crossover and in the playoffs anything can happen.

I suspect the denizens of the nuclear waste storage site where Hamilton plays will be prepared to lynch if not marry their own cousins after Ottawa beats Hamilton 27-18. If you have trouble getting to sleep, please watch this game, it will do wonders for insomniacs.

Finally, Montreal goes to BC who have just as good gentleman clubs as Montreal in addition to time zone changes that spell nothing but doom and despair for the most eastern CFL franchise.

BC also have a defensive line that did undress the Stony Mountain Bombers like a prison weapons strip search although it was nowhere to be seen against Toronto’s pretty interesting defense.

The difference will be Toronto has an offensive line while Montreal has a bunch of guys loaded on poutine and goose fat wearing Old Miss jerseys. Montreal failed its first test against a contending team in Winnipeg, don’t expect them to do better against BC, especially with the game starting when Montreal usually does last call.

BC 29 Montreal 18.

by Greg Urbanoski

Will Chris Jones Blow up the Elks Planet of the Apes Style?

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