By Michelle Statz

BDO Debt Solutions

Discussing your Finances with your Partner

Feb 16, 2022 | 8:31 AM

It can be difficult to talk about your finances, but some people find it especially difficult to discuss their finances with their partner.

These days it is not uncommon to have two people in a relationship handling their finances separately. For example, paying their own bills and expenses from their own bank accounts, as opposed to having a joint account or paying certain things together. It is perfectly normal to have finances handled separately, however I have sometimes seen that one person does not know what the other person’s obligations are, or even the general state of the other’s finances. It is still important for you and your partner to discuss where you are at in terms of your budget, your debt servicing, and your financial goals.

Even if you spend and bank separately, there should be some common ground on where your money goes and what you want your money to do for you in future. That is part of being in a relationship and certainly you benefit from having two people contributing to the budget and sharing expenses. You will want to know what you are each paying in terms of the monthly obligations so that you know that those responsibilities are being met, and that you are on the same page financially.

I also often see where one person in the relationship takes control of the finances, including the budget and paying the bills. This is okay too, but you should still be communicating between the two of you so that you both know what your family obligations are and that you are working toward goals that you have developed together.

Whatever the dynamic in your relationship, your financial discussions should include budget considerations as well as your financial goals. What is it that you want to do with your money? Are there travel goals, something that needs to be purchased for the home, or even longer-term goals such as retirement? You are spending your lives together and so it makes sense to be able to discuss these goals to ensure that you have common ground on what it is you are working towards with your savings, and what your priorities are. It makes it very difficult to plan for the future if you do not know about your partner’s income, or his or her debt servicing costs and savings goals.

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Many people find it hard to have these discussions with their partner, especially when it comes to their debt obligations. I believe it comes down to the fact that we always want our partner to see us in the best light possible. It can be difficult to disclose to your partner your debt situation as you might feel embarrassed, or you may fear that you will be judged. Your partner is likely one of the closest people in your life and arguably should be the first person you talk to about your finances, but that is sometimes easier said than done.

I suggest you make time periodically and on a regular basis, to sit down together to review your budget and your finances. You may want to plan an evening, maybe once a month, for this purpose. This is something you would be doing even if you were a single person household, but now you have an extra person to work with in terms of budgeting and achieving financial goals that the two of you will set. You need to trust in your partner and work as a team to reach those goals.

Michelle is a Licensed Insolvency Trustee, and a Chartered Insolvency and Restructuring Professional. She is a Vice President with BDO and works out of the Regina office. She has been in the industry since 2001 and believes in the system that allows individuals to find solutions to their financial challenges so that they can take charge of their finances once again.

If you find you are struggling or are overwhelmed by your financial situation, we can help you find the right solution. Call 1 855 BDO DEBT to book a free, no obligation consultation with a BDO debt professional.