Dear Carrie:

What should I do the next time I see him??

Signed,

Concerned Neighbour

Dear Concerned Neighbour,

I commend you for taking notice, and caring about your friend. Good for you.

Anytime we are concerned for someone’s safety, it’s important that we encourage them to seek professional help as soon as possible.

But – we don’t need to be an expert to help in the moment. The next time you see your friend, here’s what you can do:

Be supportive and show them empathy, letting them know you genuinely care. Tell them you want to support them.
Let them know you aren’t judging them for what they’re going through. Be a safe place for them.
Give them your full attention. Practice “active listening” by angling your body towards them and making eye contact. You should put your phone away. Reassure them you’re listening. Try not to interrupt. Try not to give advice.
Let them know you’re here with them, even if you don’t completely understand. Make sure they know they can reach out to you whenever they need to.
If you don’t know what to say, you can ask, “Is there anything I can do for you right now?”
Do suggest they talk to a mental health professional. Help them out if you can by giving a referral to a professional who you or a friend knows, or by looking up a number for them. Whatever that looks like, let them know you’ll be there to help, even just to check-in.
Ultimately – it is their decision to seek professional help. But if you believe their life is in immediate danger, you must involve emergency services right away (such as 911 or a suicide helpline)

There is still a lot that we don’t understand about mental health, but what we do know is this:

According to the Mental Health Commission of Canada, one in five people in Canada experiences mental illness.

Half of people will experience some type of mental illness by the time they reach 40 years of age. Currently, there are nearly 7 million people in Canada who live with mental illness. In comparison, about 2 million people live with Type 2 Diabetes.

And when we consider family members and caregivers, it’s safe to say that mental illness impacts all of us in some way.

What I think all that means to say is: mental wellness is something each of us needs to make a priority. All of us face challenges with mental illness at some point in our lives.

So, my advice to you is this: It doesn’t matter whether they are an acquaintance, neighbour, friend or foe – if you feel called to reach out and say something – answer that call.

We assume other people have strong circles of community and support, but that isn’t always the case.

Until we ask – we really don’t know.

In these situations, we sometimes think it might be offensive to ask a friend or acquaintance about their well-being. But the fact is – it’s always better to say something than not say something.

When someone is going through a hard time, the best thing we can do is just sit with them. We don’t need to give advice. Just being there is enough.

Humans are social animals – we need each other. Smile and say hello; take the time to chat for thirty seconds with the nice lady in line at the post office.

And if you ever feel worried about someone – make yourself vulnerable, and say something.

We never know the ripple effects and impact our words and actions can have on other people.

Community is built when we look out for our neighbours. Sometimes, helping our neighbour means bailing them out of the ditch after a snowstorm.

And sometimes, it looks like saying “Hey – want to talk?

I’m here for you.”

Yours,

Carrie .

Have a problem or something you could use advice on? Send your questions about health, relationships, and life in general to hellodearcarrie@gmail.com

by Carrie Pratt

Dear Carrie:

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