Daughter’s death prompts calls for action from P.A. family

Jordyn said after her daughter’s death she was left with feelings of helplessness and guilt.

“For a whole day and a half we wondered why, what happened, what did we do, and what didn’t we do,” she said. “Did my beautiful daughter know she was loved so much?”

Jordyn would receive a phone call from the coroner, who informed her that Carlee had left a note on her phone, and he offered to personally bring it to the family’s home. Jordyn said when the man arrived, he was holding the note and was shaking as he handed it to her. Jordyn, who now carries the note with her wherever she goes, read it out for paNOW.

I know you guys are sad but I’m happy now so be happy for me. God has another angel. I love you guys and will always.

Further in her note to her parents, Carlee talked about being bullied at school, and expressed she felt no one stood up for her and addressed it.

Kara [Carlee’s younger sister], once she grows up and starts to talk, you guys will probably tell her about me and the shitty life that I lived.

Carlee speaks of concerns she had with bullying in the classroom and felt the teachers didn’t do enough about it.

I started smoking weed and cigarettes. Tell my friends that I’m sorry and I’m sorry for doing this but it just had to happen. I did love my life until I was nine and started to get depression when I was 10, I started to be happier when Kara came but kept getting more depressed because I just kept on being bullied and never told you guys the reason. The haters got what they wanted. People only care if you are pretty or dead. Goodbye and I love you forever.

Despite her daughter’s struggles with bullying, Jordyn Wolfe said Carlee was generally a very happy young girl who had big plans for her future. (Nigel Maxwell/ paNOW Staff)

Jordyn said for more than 18 months her daughter had talked about being bullied at school and how the kids would call her “ugly” and throw snow at her. Corie and Jordyn said when they brought those concerns up at parent-teacher interviews, they were told it was “just teasing” or some of the kids had a crush on Carlee.

“They [teachers] also said in the meeting that this was Carlee’s will, she made this choice,” Jordyn explained. “How does an 11-year-old make this choice?”

Last week the family had a meeting with officials from the school division, with the purpose of sharing how Carlee’s death had impacted the family. Corie was also seeking some sort of feedback related to what the school had done since the incident to deal with bullying, and what changes were being considered. He said he walked away from the meeting with no answers.

“It’s just not taken seriously in schools, it’s like there’s never any consequences for it and it seems like it’s just being swept under the rug,” he said.

Jordyn said her daughter showed no signs at home that anything was wrong. She recalled how Carlee would skip around the house, play with her slime, and even baked her family a cake two days before her death. Carlee also talked passionately about becoming a veterinarian when she grew up, how she would get an apartment with a friend, and how she wanted to own an old Chevy truck. Corie and Jordyn, who both work in fields related to mental health and crisis, said they still have so many questions.

“You know we are helping children and raising our own, meanwhile our daughter felt like this. Like we just feel hopeless,” Jordyn said.

Moving forward, the family is receiving counselling services and have received support from both the Prince Albert Police Service and Prince Albert Grand Council. Meanwhile four of their children continue to attend the school where Carlee went. Jordyn said she had considered transferring them elsewhere but decided they should stay “to feel closer to their sister. “

“We don’t want to blame anybody, we don’t want these children to feel bad but do they know, do they know that this is not OK? Do the parents know and are they sorry at all?,” she asked. “We know it’s not going to bring Carlee back but we want her voice heard.”

paNOW attempted to get a comment from both the Saskatchewan Rivers School Division and the Prince Albert Catholic School division, regarding what protocols were in place to deal with bullying. A spokesperson for the Sask. Rivers School Division said they could not provide comment. There was no response from the Catholic School Division by deadline.

What can parents do to help their children?

According to Doug Kinar, Executive Director of the Prince Albert chapter branch for the Canadian Mental Health Association, when children think about suicide, it’s most often due to a feeling of a loss of a sense of safety.

“There’s so much prevalence of suicides in the news, on TV, with the cyber-bullying, that it has become almost a standardized, normalized idea and what we want to do is start teaching our kids coping skills,” he said, adding parents can show their children healthy ways to respond to feelings of hurt, anger and sadness.

He added more often than not, people who have thoughts of suicide don’t want to die, but instead want the pain they are experiencing to stop and they don’t know any other way to stop it. He said the onus is on the parents to create an environment where their children feel safe to talk openly.

“Because if the child comes to us with a problem and we don’t even realize there’s a problem going on, and they don’t know how to tell us, they don’t know how to start the subject,” he said.

Kinar recognized in today’s busy society it is hard for families to sit down together and talk, but he encouraged parents to find the time to talk to their children.

“Even if it’s just at bedtime when you tuck them in to say how was your day, and have that five minutes or 10 minutes of quiet solitude and just an opportunity to connect,” he said

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nigel.maxwell@jpbg.ca

On Twitter: @nigelmaxwell

by Nigel Maxwell

Daughter’s death prompts calls for action from P.A. family

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