What’ve they got in there, King Kong?

I don’t know about you geek fans out there, but my very first cinematic geek moment was as an 11 year-old boy in that dark vast theater, clenching the arm rests, gripping into the soft foam and plastic as I heard the ‘Boom, boom, boom’, and watched that glass of water tremble in the SUV cup holder on screen.

And then the T-Rex comes stalking around the two vehicles and the hair on the back of my neck stood up straight.

For many of the people my age Jurassic Park was the first movie to really dazzle us in the theater. It was our Star Wars almost. A new world where anything was possible.

So to hear that a fourth installment of the movie now has a set date of release, June 13th, 2014, it gives me big tinglies all over.

Now okay, the third installment was not what anyone would call ‘Oscar-worthy’, however it did give us a chance to once again revisit that island of mystery and danger that we all visit in our dreams from time to time. Plus Alan Grant was back! And two seconds of Ellie!

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Not much has been reported or even speculated yet about the movie, however it is confirmed that Steven Spielberg will once again be on the production side of things, and the writers of Rise of the Planet of the Apes penned the script which has been handed in, and we all know that was a fraking awesome movie.

So, because I don’t have much for you right now in that way I’m going to give you all a great treat…unless you’ve seen this already and then it’s no treat at all.

Back in 2007 when Jurassic Park 4 was all the rage in Hollywood chatter, a couple writers (one from Prometheus) put together a script involving genetically evolved dinosaurs that could communicate and carry weapons.

For a while this was actually going to go into production until the whole idea was scrapped (thank God) and JP4 went into production hell where all ‘bad’ movies go because the people creating them suck.

Alongside this article repeating pretty much what I just said in two paragraphs there is some concept art that may or may not have been from the studio, ILM (Industrial Light and Magic) swore up and down they had never seen these before.

Take a look at these pics and image how crazy this movie could have been.

While we’re on the subject of big scary reptiles, the newest Godzilla remake has hit some rough patches.

The news circling the movie sites is that production is searching for a lead man for the movie.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt was originally offered the role, but turned it down (strike one). Now the latest news is that Aaron Taylor-Johnson (Kick-Ass, Nowhere Boy) is being considered.

The role is of a lone soldier who apparently will be the focus of the movie and Godzilla will have a more secondary character feel, somewhat like the Godzilla remake that P. Diddy made that song for, but much less crappy.

The good news about the movie, other than the fact that its going to stick very close to the original Godzilla premises, two new monsters will be created to face off against lightning breath. That’s right we may not see Rhodan or Mothra but we will at least get to see two giant destructive creatures facing off against the big bad.

The B-Side

Now for your fill of Horror B cult film needs, a new film is about to hit the small screen (maybe some select big screens will be hit). Spiders 3D is jumping off the screen and onto your face!

Brought to you by the not very well known Tibor Takacs, who brought you such cult classics as 1987’s The Gate, various episodes of The Outer Limits (1995 version), and for some reason Sabrina: The Teenage Witch (anyone who remembers TGIF will be tickled pink).

The movie is about an out of commission Russian space station that plummets to earth and contains an alien race of giant spiders, consequently which the Russians had discovered years ago and brought back into space (I’m sure they could have skipped a plot point there, but I’m not the writer). Anyways the giant spiders wreak havoc on New York City which has to be evacuated and then they discover there’s an even bigger and badder giant spider queen (I thought that was bees).

Also the spiders have mouths with lots of pointy sharp teeth in them because that is apparently much more menacing than giant venom-soaked fangs.

Despite these downfalls the movie itself seems to feature a fairly reasonable set of special effects and graphics, and the acting doesn’t seem to suck that much, at least from the clip I viewed and the trailer.

Check the trailer out for yourself here and check the movie out in select theaters and on VOD February 8th (although the VOD version will just be titled Spiders, sorry folks no 3D unless you fake it with your special 3D TVS and that just looks like junk).

YOUTUBE EPICNICESS OF THE WEEK

Alright so this week not so much geeky, but pretty hilarious, this guy MagicofRahat pulls pretty elaborate pranks on people. However this latest one has hit viral status. He made himself a car seat costume and then drove up to drive thru windows wearing it and making it look like no one is driving the car.

The reactions…well they pretty much make this a hit.

Here it is.

END CREDITS

So that’s it folks, I promised you a longer article this week to make up for last week’s very short one and I came through. Still waiting on some geek art, I know that you people are out there staring at the screen wondering ‘should I send him my work’. The answer is YES! Send it! I will feature it as promised on the Geek File in the week after you send it, so don’t be shy, send it along.

As always you can e-mail it to me at jbowler@panow.com

That’s it for now but as always leave me some comments below on your thoughts or things you’d like to hear about.

Twitter: @journalistjim