What Father’s Day Means to This Single Mom

In the last few years, there has been a trend to want to celebrate single moms along with Dads on Father’s Day.

As a single mom, I do acknowledge the double role I play – and acknowledge the same role is played by single dads.

However, it is my opinion that Father’s Day is for Father’s just as Mother’s Day is for mothers because, though many of us do double duty as a parent, a single mom cannot BE a dad or a dad figure; a single dad cannot BE a mom.

As much as we try – as much as a society we try to say there isn’t a difference really in how men do things and how women do things – there are big differences.

In my own experience, as much as I attempt to dude things up for my little guy, I don’t think like a guy, I don’t operate like a guy and I acknowledge I cannot be a Father to Liam.

WORLD SOFTBALL

Group stages officially set for Men's Softball World Cup in P.A.

5h ago

Safety first

Safety concerns and tips surrounding discarded needles in P.A.

23h ago

Liquor stores must change hours

Prince Albert limits liquor store hours

Apr 23, 2024

I am unable to role model how to be a good man, a good father. I am very MOM in being afraid of letting my son challenge himself to his full extent. I am not rough and tumble. I don’t hunt or fish (and he wants to hunt and fish), I don’t know about how guys feel through puberty, and I know from watching how men operate that I do not think or respond to situations like a guy.

A lot of this is about how I, myself, operate but I believe the same holds true for a lot of women.

Therefore, I do not ask people to honor me on Father’s Day.

Instead, Liam and I honor the many good men that are in our lives that are helping my son grow into (what I hope will be) a good man.

We have many friends in good marriages – so he sees faithful men.

We have many friends who are fantastic and present fathers (some in traditional families, some are single dads, some are dads to kids they have adopted or taken on as their own) so he sees men that are loving and good fathers. He sees how these men parent. He sees that dads can be tough, often tougher than mom, but that these same tough dads are fiercely loyal and deeply loving; that they are men trusted by their children; men their children know are there for them no matter what.

We have family and many guy friends who are musicians, cowboys, artists, farmers, hunters, fishermen; guys who go to work every day and come home at night anxious to see their families; guys that are loyal; guys that are teachers of his Cree culture, guys that are all these things and still cool.

All these men in our lives, whether they know it or not, are helping to shape my son into the man he will be.

So, single moms, I encourage you to make sure your sons and daughters witness and spend time with good guys. Daughters, too, need to know that men can be good and faithful and emotionally strong – even if that hasn’t been the experience within your own immediate family.

There are way more good guys than bad and in this post-Father’s Day column I acknowledge that and thank all the men out there: fathers or not, who are role modelling how it should be done.

You have more power than you know.

For men who are interested in taking an active role for boys in the community, consider Big Brother’s Big Sisters. They are always looking for positive role models and have a variety of programs. Their contact information can be found here: http://goo.gl/5eGSZX . Looking through Community Groups there are many opportunities to play a role in a kid’s life through coaching sports, scouts, cadets, 4H or any number of programs. Look for the activities of these groups in Community Group News, under the COMMUNITY tab on paNOW.com .