Have you ever had one of those moments when you were asked a difficult question and you thought you did not know the answer, and then you heard the answer and you discovered that you knew the answer all along?
Sometimes this is what we do when stress presents itself in our life. We doubt ourselves and our ability to come up with answers on our own. We let our stressful thoughts turn our feelings negative and we react with actions that are not as healthy as they could be, when, in fact, the positive healthy answer is there we just may have to dig a bit deeper within ourselves to find it.
As a mom, over the years, I have experienced stress and self doubt and I am slowly learning, with lots of hard work, not to doubt my ability and accept that I do already know the answers, but I need to start each stressful situation from square one.
Square one in any situation means both positive and negative is ‘thoughts’ we need to looks at the situation and examine… “What am I thinking? Is it positive or negative? Am I taking on the challenge or has the challenge taken me over?” Your thoughts will determine how you feel about a situation. If you take on a challenge and tell yourself “no problem I can do this!” the feelings will be peaceful and calm and you will discover you already know the answer. If your thoughts are “why does this always happen” your feelings will be defeated and sad and you may question yourself that you don’t know the answer. From these feelings we put a plan into action.
The positive spin may create actions of looking for healthy solutions, reaching out for help, talking, journalling or simply taking on the challenge in a positive manner.
The negative spin may create actions that lead to unhealthy solutions such as substance abuse, lashing out in anger, avoidance, stomping around playing the victim with the words we choose and the people we surround ourselves with.
Each of these scenarios I have lived repeatedly and now I choose to live with the positive spin but it has taken a lot of hard work and it is something that I have not perfected.
The challenge presents itself and I stop and think about the way I will handle each situation. When I slow down enough to think, I take control of my thoughts and create positive feelings which leads to a healthy solution.
I have surprised myself by discovering I know the answer to that difficult question and stressful situation and I have control over how I answer to the situation.
I challenge all parents to slow down and think and continue to work on dealing with stressors in a positive way by paying attention to thoughts that create feelings that lead to our actions.
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world.
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