By Tyler Marr

Stepping forward on abuse education

May 21, 2017 | 2:00 PM

Mocking, controlling, manipulating, belittling, and physical contact are all forms of abuse one-in-four women and one-in-six men will face in their lives. 

This is why Conrad Burns, for the fifth time, has set out on a 130 kilometre walk from Prince Albert to Saskatoon to raise awareness around the symptoms and cycle of abuse.

“I find for far too long we have been sweeping it under the rug and not dealing with it,” Burns told paNOW at his campsite in Rosthern following the first of his three-day journey.

“I found that walking was the most intrusive way to start the conversation because it is a hard subject to talk about.”

Burns has experienced mental and emotional abuse first hand. In two past relationships, he was the byproduct of abuse spurred by an intergenerational experience of others growing up and witnessing abusive behaviours.

Event Centre funding

City may hire lobbyist for event centre money

5h ago

International honours

Raiders' Kubiesa to represent Czechia at IIHF U18 Men's World Championship

9h ago

Learn the signs

How often should you change your brakes?

13h ago

He said there is a vicious cycle attached to abuse. 

It begins in the honeymoon stage where things appear fine before a trigger ignites the abuser to act out. This continues until regret and remorse sets in. It eventually recycles back into the honeymoon stage, and repeats.

When this progresses, the cycle gets worse as the abuser sees they can get away with it.

“We have to encourage people to leave that situation, but not only leave but educate the abuser too,” Burns said. “People need to be educated to understand how to help them. We have to work together to overcome the situation because it takes a community to heal.”

As he travelled from P.A. to Duck Lake Saturday, Burns said he had around 25 people honk in support and even one family pull over and share their story.

Providing people with the opportunity to take a couple minutes to think and talk about abuse is the centre point for the walk.

“As we walk, people talk about their stories and it helps people,” he said. “The more we do this, the more we see people standing behind us and standing up.”

A number of family members were accompanying Burns on his walk. This included his two young nieces. Burns said educating youth, showing them what abuse is, where and how to avoid it, is one of his biggest goals.

“We are looking at our next generation and hopefully they don’t have to experience what we did,” he said. “By parents leaving their abusive relationships, abusers stopping, we will change that and it is just one event at the time.”

Over the years, the walk has attracted attention from others who have faced similar situations.

This was the case for Delaney Lambert who joined Burns in a larger capacity this year after a previous brief encounter.

“I remember being there and being part of something that was so much bigger than myself and I really enjoyed it,” Lambert said. “I wanted to be in this.”

Lambert’s life has been plagued with abuse. 

As a teenager, he watched his mother endure emotional and physical abuse from her boyfriend at the time. He recalled a time watching the man tackle his mother to the ground.

“I was freaking out. The police were called but she just kept going back,” he said. 

Though eventually breaking up, he watched his mother succumb to the cycle, turning the abuse inward and becoming ill.

“She was physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally [hurt],” he said.

As he grew older, the young man entered into relationships and was subject to abuse himself. He said every day he grappled with a “horrible, garbage” feeling on his chest.

“I remember that feeling of guilt and control and I thought it was normal and I thought that was just the way people live,” he said, but after hearing Burns and the Rise Up movement, he learned of the brighter side to life.

Lambert said abuse is “a double-edged sword” that not only impacted women but men too.

“It is the same dark force that can drive it, and we need to put a stop to it.”

tyler.marr@jpbg.ca

On Twitter: @JournoMarr