By Lisa Schick

Parents need help keeping kids safe from sexual predators: Sask. mother

Apr 17, 2015 | 5:54 PM

A Saskatchewan mother did everything she could think of to protect her son from being molested, but now believes the community must do more to keep kids safe from manipulative sexual predators. 
 
“The day that we found out about this monster, Ryan Chamberlin, it was on February 25, and that was the night our whole world came crashing down,” said this mother, who can’t be identified to protect the identity of her son. 
 
“So many things went through my mind. I was sick. I threw up immediately. I felt guilty. I felt it was my fault that it happened. I was angry, disgusted. I just felt like I was so naive.”
 
Chamberlin had coached her son in hockey. In April, he pleaded guilty to three counts of sexual assault, and one count of child luring after four victims came forward. Chamberlin will be sentenced on May 6. 

She said that she was always worried about her kids, so she made sure to talk to them about “wolves in sheep’s clothing” and explained that pedophiles can come in the form of trusted people. She said she told them the story of former NHL hockey player Sheldon Kennedy, and his notorious coach Graham James, who abused players for years.
 
“I did prepare them in a way that if they ever feel uncomfortable or if they are ever told they have to keep a secret from me, then that is a red flag,” she said.
 
Before letting her son take lessons from him, she asked around about Chamberlin.
 
She was told he was “the nicest guy”, “a great guy” and that “he’s like a little kid himself”.

She sees now that Chamberlin gained their trust and groomed and manipulated their entire family. 

She said that when her son told her what had happened she wanted to confront Chamberlin, but they decided to go to the police. Her son was the first of Chamberlin’s victims in Saskatchewan to come forward.
 
Her son came forward because he was thinking about others. He was worried about his friends who had been taking lessons with Chamberlin, and his little brother, who had been part of group lessons with the man.
 
“My son did not want this monster to hurt his little brother.”
 
To heal, she is working for tighter regulations, tougher sentencing, and more education, so others don’t have to go through the same thing.

It came out in court that Chamberlin had served four months in jail in B.C. for sexually assaulting a five-year-old boy. The victim’s mother wants more regulations in place so that people with records can’t work with children.
 
“If we did have tighter regulations, these pedophiles would stay away from kids. They would know that kids are important to us.”
 
She also is pleading for tougher sentencing for predators. She said that police and lawyers can only do so much. She believes that it’s up to the government, which makes the sentencing regulations, to tighten them up.
 
“Sentencing needs to reflect our values and the harm this does … These are habitual offenders and we release them on a trial and error basis. It’s not a matter of if they’re going to offend again, but when.”
 
She also wants more education for parents and for kids. 
 
“With the way society is right now, nobody wants to talk about this. People will talk about drinking and driving and people will talk about murders, but when it comes to molestation, everybody’s embarrassed.”
 
She believes that kids are sheltered, and aren’t given enough information about the dangers out there. She wants more kids to be taught that people we trust may not be who they say they are, and she wants age-sensitive sexual education introduced.
 
“It’s up to us parents to get our kids ready. And unfortunately we don’t live in a perfect world, and this is the only way we can protect our kids.”
 
The victim’s mother said that when they went to the police to report what happened, there wasn’t much support.
 
“We were just confused in what steps would follow. I didn’t realize a Crown prosecutor would be appointed. I didn’t realize victim services was out there to help us. We didn’t realize anything. We were sent home, we sat at home alone. Confused, upset. And that needs to change.”
 
The family was contacted the next day by Kennedy. He started the Sheldon Kennedy Advocacy Center in Calgary in 2013. 
 
She said Kennedy gave them strength. She said he gave her encouragement, letting her know that she did all she could when she doubted herself. And she said Kennedy stresses to her son that he won’t have to feel shame about the time he spent staying quiet.
 
The victim’s mother said she toured Kennedy’s facility at the beginning of April, and it brought her to tears, because she said that kind of support would have made the experience easier for them. 
  
The mother of the victim said they’re trying to keep up with routines. They’re getting counseling, and she said their friends and family have been pillars of support.

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And they’re still in contact with Kennedy sometimes.

panews@jpbg.ca

On Twitter: @LMSchickler